About a year ago, I was going through a really
hard time in my life. It was a very personal issue and I only told a couple of
people that I was extremely close to, my younger cousin being one of them. Even
though my cousin and I are 4 years apart, she and I were inseparable. We knew each
other’s deepest darkest secrets and were always there for each other. Well, I thought
so anyway! When I was going through this time there was a certain day where I
needed her more than ever. She knew what I was going through and told me she
could not make it because she had an eyebrow appointment that she couldn’t miss.
That hurt me more than ever. I was shocked and didn’t know how to handle the
situation. It has been really difficult to put it behind me but I
know that we are family and that being a woman of God, I know that the right
thing to do is forgive and forget although it’s easier said than done. I have
forgiven her, but there is a piece inside me that still hurts because of what
she did.
That must have been so upsetting to think her eyebrow appointment was more important to your cousin than being there for you during your hard time. I can see how it would be difficult to forgive something like this, and suppose this might have resulted in a difference in how the two of you now relate.
ReplyDeleteHave you reconciled with her? I would think perhaps the “I-statement” we learned about in Chapter 4 might help in this case. Perhaps if you tell her how you felt when she had her eyebrows done instead of meeting with you and what the consequences were for you as well as what you’d like to come out of this whole experience would open up a conversation that could help you understand and feel better about the whole thing. It would at least be interesting to hear her take on it and probably helpful for her to understand how this incident affected you. Since she and you were once inseparable and shared so many secrets, it sounds to me as if it’s an important relationship for both of you that would be worth re-building.
My post was pretty similar for this question. Forgiving can definitely be the easiest part of a situation where trust is suddenly lost. However, like almost everyone has expressed here in this class, and in past events, forgetting is the hardest. We become defensive and cannot forget the one time your cousin could not stop an appointment, or the time my mom told a personal situation to the rest of my family. We trusted these people with no opinions and no hesitation, but now those secrets will be harder to tell to those we cannot confidently, and full heartedly trust.
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