Post 3: What I learned

       I can honestly say that I have learned more in this class than I have in the past couple years. What I mean by that is that I have taken so much away from this class. More than I have in the past 2 years of classes combined.

       I have learned different tools and concepts throughout the course of the semester to last me a life time. It has taught me so much about myself and how I handle conflict.

       Using I Statements and the S-TLC system while handling conflict is what has stuck with me most. It has taught me to take a breath, think about what is going on and how to communicate the conflict that I am being faced with. I used to just blow out with anger but that has changed for obvious reasons. I have grown so much as a person and I am so thankful for the opportunity to have taken this class.

Post 2: Class Summary

        I have thoroughly enjoyed this whole semester. It would be really hard to pin point what I liked most since I’ve liked just about all that I have learned in this class. I feel like this class has been a class that has changed me for the better and for the first time, have actually changed my outlook on life.

       I liked a lot of things about this class. The material is definitely the best thing. I loved learning about conflict resolution and all the ways to help make conflicts easier to deal with. This was my first online class that I’ve ever taken and I have to say I liked the convenience that this class gave us. Since I work full time, it is nice to be able to read and do homework whenever is convenient for me! As far as what I haven't liked, I really don't have anything to say about that!!

       I would 100% recommend this class to anyone in Communication Studies. I feel like I have grown a lot as a person and would love giving anyone else the opportunity to do the same.

Chapter 16: Post 1: Negative View on Conflict

I think the reason why people view conflict negatively is quite simple. They fear it, simply because they have no idea how to go about handling it. I think the people that do not know how to handle conflict try to avoid it as much as they can because they think negatively about it. While growing up, we were always taught that conflict was a bad thing, which I personally think is false. It is an opportunity to make a situation better.

            I 100% think that if people were taught more about how to handle conflict, they would not avoid it, or better yet fear it! The book says it quite perfectly, “Unfortunately, too many conflicts turn sour because the conflicting parties do not take the time and effort to find a more mutually satisfying resolution.” I think that what this quote is saying is that if people were taught tools/concepts what I have learned in this class, (i.e. conflict resolution, compromise, The S-TLC system initiation and much more), people would be much more successful in conflict resolution. Learning about these simple yet extremely helpful concepts has taught me personally so much about conflict resolution in the past four months than I have learned my whole entire life!

Chapter 12: Post 3: A little bit of everything!

As I went back to review Chapter 12 for this particular question, I couldn’t pin-point a certain concept that stuck out to me over another.  I feel as if I was able to relate to most of the chapter and took equally from each of the concepts / theories.
  I thought that reading about the Psychodynamic Theory was quite interesting. The book illustrates a short narrative of this theory. It was about a woman who before leaving on an extended trip, tends to get into overblown arguments with her husband. However, since she was aware of this, she was able to avoid the conflict with her husband which then rolled onto a member in her housing community. She had an overblown conversation about something ridiculous and felt extremely embarrassed after it all.
I’ve never really heard or experienced such a thing and was shocked when I read about this certain theory. It was really interesting to read about all of the different theories and to see which ones you match up to, and what you could improve on!

Chapter 12: Post 2: False/Accurate Attributes

I think that everyone has made false attributions at least once in their lives. I feel as if when people do make false attributes, the conflict tends to worsen more than it should. My previous relationship was not a healthy relationship at all. I could remember a couple false attributions that I made that totally made things worse in our relationship. It was more of a he-said-she-said situation where I should have just asked, instead of assuming. I’ve learned after that, that I should go straight to the source and not to make up stories up in my head and accuse someone of doing something.
There have also been times when I did make accurate attributions. There was a time when I applied for 2 jobs at the same time thinking one wouldn’t work out. I ended up being offered both jobs! I then made an accurate attribute as to what job I would enjoy more and be happier at rather than looking at it as just a monetary situation. I ended up picking accurately and stayed with the company for 5 years!

Chapter 10: Post 1:Google Search

Forgiveness:
After doing a search for forgiveness, I found the definition of course! Some Biblical sites that provide help on how to forgive, different articles on forgiving, as well as a campaign. I assumed these would be the sites that I would find since you do seek help from others in order to forgive and in the Bible, it teaches you to forgive and forget.


Reconciliation:
Searching for reconciliation brought up sites that were a bit different than forgiveness. It obviously brought up the definition, but also brought up a bunch of Catholic sites. 


Revenge:  
Searching Revenge brought up a bunch of sites under the TV show ‘Revenge’ on ABC. I did not expect that at all. To me, this just goes to show that obviously entertainment is more important to society than helping people who are thinking about revenge!
While searching these three words, there was no word that came up more than the other. 

Post 3: Learning to Forgive

In my previous post I talked about a situation that had happened with my cousin about a year ago where I completely lost her trust and found it extremely hard to forgive her. After a while I was able to forgive her but was never able to completely get it out of my system. One concept that I found very interesting was ‘Learning to Forgive’. In the book it says that a lot of people “…forgive, but at a distance. They let go of their need to revenge but do not choose to put themselves in a position where the other can hurt them again.”  This is exactly what has happened in my situation. I was able to forgive, but at a distance. Since the incident, I never gave her an opportunity where she would lose my trust once again. Although I wasn’t looking for revenge, I still forgave at a distance.