Chapter 12: Post 3: A little bit of everything!

As I went back to review Chapter 12 for this particular question, I couldn’t pin-point a certain concept that stuck out to me over another.  I feel as if I was able to relate to most of the chapter and took equally from each of the concepts / theories.
  I thought that reading about the Psychodynamic Theory was quite interesting. The book illustrates a short narrative of this theory. It was about a woman who before leaving on an extended trip, tends to get into overblown arguments with her husband. However, since she was aware of this, she was able to avoid the conflict with her husband which then rolled onto a member in her housing community. She had an overblown conversation about something ridiculous and felt extremely embarrassed after it all.
I’ve never really heard or experienced such a thing and was shocked when I read about this certain theory. It was really interesting to read about all of the different theories and to see which ones you match up to, and what you could improve on!

Chapter 12: Post 2: False/Accurate Attributes

I think that everyone has made false attributions at least once in their lives. I feel as if when people do make false attributes, the conflict tends to worsen more than it should. My previous relationship was not a healthy relationship at all. I could remember a couple false attributions that I made that totally made things worse in our relationship. It was more of a he-said-she-said situation where I should have just asked, instead of assuming. I’ve learned after that, that I should go straight to the source and not to make up stories up in my head and accuse someone of doing something.
There have also been times when I did make accurate attributions. There was a time when I applied for 2 jobs at the same time thinking one wouldn’t work out. I ended up being offered both jobs! I then made an accurate attribute as to what job I would enjoy more and be happier at rather than looking at it as just a monetary situation. I ended up picking accurately and stayed with the company for 5 years!

Chapter 10: Post 1:Google Search

Forgiveness:
After doing a search for forgiveness, I found the definition of course! Some Biblical sites that provide help on how to forgive, different articles on forgiving, as well as a campaign. I assumed these would be the sites that I would find since you do seek help from others in order to forgive and in the Bible, it teaches you to forgive and forget.


Reconciliation:
Searching for reconciliation brought up sites that were a bit different than forgiveness. It obviously brought up the definition, but also brought up a bunch of Catholic sites. 


Revenge:  
Searching Revenge brought up a bunch of sites under the TV show ‘Revenge’ on ABC. I did not expect that at all. To me, this just goes to show that obviously entertainment is more important to society than helping people who are thinking about revenge!
While searching these three words, there was no word that came up more than the other. 

Post 3: Learning to Forgive

In my previous post I talked about a situation that had happened with my cousin about a year ago where I completely lost her trust and found it extremely hard to forgive her. After a while I was able to forgive her but was never able to completely get it out of my system. One concept that I found very interesting was ‘Learning to Forgive’. In the book it says that a lot of people “…forgive, but at a distance. They let go of their need to revenge but do not choose to put themselves in a position where the other can hurt them again.”  This is exactly what has happened in my situation. I was able to forgive, but at a distance. Since the incident, I never gave her an opportunity where she would lose my trust once again. Although I wasn’t looking for revenge, I still forgave at a distance. 

Post 2: Chapter 10: Forgiveness

About a year ago, I was going through a really hard time in my life. It was a very personal issue and I only told a couple of people that I was extremely close to, my younger cousin being one of them. Even though my cousin and I are 4 years apart, she and I were inseparable. We knew each other’s deepest darkest secrets and were always there for each other. Well, I thought so anyway! When I was going through this time there was a certain day where I needed her more than ever. She knew what I was going through and told me she could not make it because she had an eyebrow appointment that she couldn’t miss. That hurt me more than ever. I was shocked and didn’t know how to handle the situation. It has been really difficult to put it behind me but I know that we are family and that being a woman of God, I know that the right thing to do is forgive and forget although it’s easier said than done. I have forgiven her, but there is a piece inside me that still hurts because of what she did. 

Chapter 9: Post 1: Facebook

I tend to keep my Facebook very clean with minimal information as possible. I am pretty selective with information I show on Facebook as well as uploading my own status, checking in to places etc. When people look at my profile they could tell that I am very family oriented, like sports and are religious. There have been times when people have placed profanity on my wall. I wish they hadn’t done that because my wall is a reflection of me and who I am as well as who I associate with. When that has happened, I asked them to stop and would delete their post! I think that posting things on Facebook or having certain things on your profile can totally create conflict in communication. People tend to miscommunicate things whether it is in an email, on your social profile or on text. Another way is posting a certain status on your profile about anything, and if someone does not agree with you, they will let it be known and conflict is most likely to arise.